These are difficult times for everyone. Families are confined to spaces – some very small and some larger. But that does not mean that the people in those spaces are happy. For sure, some are. And for sure, some are not.
Before the stay-at-home order and the distancing restrictions many unhappy couples were able to manage their discontent by doing things mostly on their own. They could be at ‘business meetings’ and ‘business events’ that only involved ‘funny business’ with someone other than their spouse. This applies to both men and women.
As well, there have been many people who have been involved in extra-marital relationships who are now trapped with their husband or wife and unable to connect with their new ‘person of interest’.
How terrible for them that the woman or man who was once the love of their life, and who is now probably the father or mother of their children, is standing in the way of their pursuit of true love, true happiness, or just unabashed sex.
What a shame. But also what an opportunity. Why not use this time of being confined to your home with you actual wife or husband as a chance to reconnect. An occasion to mend fences and re-establish your bond. You can try your best to rediscover the person you cared for so much that you actually married them.
Is this the right time to divorce. Absolutely not. Divorce lawyers, such as me, expect a huge increase in client intake in the weeks and months to come. But I view this as a big mistake. Divorce is ugly. Divorce is messy. Divorce is expensive. But most of all divorce destroys families and destroys lives. Divorce damages children, sometimes beyond repair for many, many years, if at all.
I encourage all of you looking at divorce during these trying times to look inward instead. Explore yourself. Explore your present, your past, your relationships, and most significant, your future. You have been given an opportunity you will likely never see again in your lifetime. Being alone and together with your spouse and your family. Turn that from a negative to a positive. Make it work.
But of course if you are unable to make it work, and once this is over, you can contact Bookman Law and we will guide you through this stressful time. All of us at Bookman Law wish all of you confined at home the best of everything. We are here to help you stay together and we are here to help you move apart if that is your decision.
STEVEN M. BOOKMAN, LL.B., Ph.D., Barrister is a leading family law lawyer in Toronto. He can be contacted at [email protected] and at 416-488-2243.